 Topic: Godfather's Bloody Branch Guide |
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luzz
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This is Godfather's old Bloody Branch Guide.
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Godfather's Bloody Branch Guide:
-Ultimately sarcastic and questionably useful.
Bloody Branches:
 - This here, this little red stick, is a bloody branch. It is quite possibly the most deadly little twig in the Ragnarok Universe. (Correction: It is).
The Bloody Branch is a one-way ticket to a monster that wants to kill you. Desperately. The monsters this thing summons have wonderful prizes if you do kill them, but if you don't... Well, we don't think about that. So we have a guide!
So before you get crackin', you can read all about your favorite (or feared) monsters that could emerge from your collection of branches. If you already know all about it, read on... There are some facts you may laugh at.
Warning: I make fun of all the MVPs.
The List:
Note: All monster sprites below are on display and will not harm you. Please put your weapon away and read on.
| Quote: | 
Golden Thief Bug
We start out with a bug! Normally, this little fellow wouldn't be out to brutally maim and kill adventurers... But you used a branch. You brought him to kill you and now he's ticked off. However, he's weak against water and poison attacks! (Yet is immune to fire and earth). His abilities are:
Magnum Break [Lv20] - Apparently he ate something explosive. It'll shove you back and damage you... But mostly just surprise you.
Fire Ball [Lv20] - Woah. A fire-breathing bug. This one can do a bit of damage. Just... Um... Become fireproof and you'll be fine. ( <_<; ... )
Teleportation [Lv1] - ...and just when you thought you were going to beat him, he teleports! I hope you've been bloody branching in a small map because otherwise... He could be on the other edge of the map. Better go finish what you started and squish him.
Heal [Lv11] - He's at 1%... Nooo! 11%... Noooo! 40%!!... Stop healing, you stupid bug! (Enough said).
Mammonite [Lv20] - This bug is golden and it carries zeny. It can HIT you with that money. Hit you with 2,000z per strike (1200% more powerful than it's normal attack). Dangerous.
Hiding [Lv1] - Hey, where'd the bug go? ... The good news is that it can't move when hidden and you can detect it.
On-target Impact Attack [Lv 5] - It hits you. 'nuff said.
Reflect Shield [Lv10] - ...I didn't know that it carried a shield. But it uses it anyway. It reflects some damage you're hitting it with right back at you. Reflective bug, curses.
Assumptio [Lv5] - Last but not least, it can reduce the damage you're causing to it while you attack. Nasty little bug, isn't it?
The good news: 126,000 HP and it drops both Emperium and Gold bars. |
| Quote: | 
Evil Snake Lord
It's a snake! No! It's a blob with a face! No! It's art supplies covered in ink! No! It's all three! You're fighting a... Yeah! It's messy and it's out for your head! Don't let it kill you or you'll end up getting sucked into that blob and EATEN! That's a nightmare in itself! Attack (and wonder what drugs the creator of this monster was on)! Good news! He's weak against Ghost only. Sadly, he's immune to Neutral attacks... And Poisonous attacks will be halved. His abilities are:
Teleportation [Lv 1] - Somehow, through some cosmic joke, this monstrosity has the ability to make its bulk move to any other place on the map except where you are. If you were attacking it... You've gotta find it again now. Luckily it's hard to miss a monster of this... ... ...variety.
Magnum Break [Lv20] - BOOM! You've now been injured and pushed away; and so have all your friends! Twice the packed power that a Knight uses when he shoves his enemies back. This Snake Lord means business... And that means that he wants everyone to just back up for a bit.
Frost Diver [Lv10] - Icy spikes of pain and death rain down right into you! Depending on your camera angle, you could be getting stabbed in any number of lovely places! All we know is that Mythbusters proved that icicles can totally kill. But these falling spikes might even freeze you into a hero-cicle!
Dark Breath [Lv 5] - Oh, ew. Ew! He just opened that mouth inside his liquid torso! Oh ew, there's something coming out! This stuff hurts and can cause any number of uncomfortable ailments to anyone in the area. Beware.
Stop [Lv 1] - Hey! You can't move! Hey! Neither can I! Oh crap!
Break shield [Lv 10] - So you thought you could hold off that giant paintbrush of his by just parrying it with your shield? Too bad, he broke your shield in half like it was made of Fabres. Sucky, right? You may want an unbreakable shield against this fellow.
Power Up [Lv 5] - Woosh! Now he hits harder, seems more dangerous, and that ink he's been hitting you with is laden with mercury! Your day just keeps getting worse, doesn't it?
Wide Silence [Lv 5] - The blob portion of this beast opens up and unleashes a wave of disgustingly pungent gas that leaves all in the room unable to speak, cast spells, or have any emoticon other than: /...
Abilities I have yet to figure out.
Dragon Fear [Lv 5]
The good news: If he's dead, you weren't digested. If you died, you've just been added to a new artistic masterpiece. He drops some nice spears, though. At only 254,993 HP he should drop fast. |
| Quote: | 
Lady Tanee
What on earth have you summoned?! You've summoned a TREE! Oh, wait, there's a girl hiding behind it! Beware. She shoots coconuts at you... and runs away. She runs and hides often. OFTEN. However, she's weak against Earth only. She's immune to Water attacks and Wind attacks will heal her. Her abilities are:
Teleportation [Lv1] - This lady... This banana tree lady... This is her absolute favorite skill in the world. She will teleport quickly after seeing you if she's low on health... You're all doomed. She can't be stone cursed or frozen. Nothing. I hope you brought lots of Fly Wings.
Heal [Lv11] - She heals! Like all good MVPs... Tanee doesn't just stay at a low HP level. She fixes that. Meanie.
Charge Arrow [Lv1] - Wait. She has arrows? What?... Oh well. I assume she launches a charged banana or coconut at your FACE. Prepare to be knocked back.
Power Up [Lv 5] - Power-UPPPPP! Great, now she's stronger. She hits harder... And her bananas are no longer squishy.
On-target Impact Attack [Lv 5] - Think of this one like Magnum Break. She hits you. You get knocked back. You get hurt. Ow.
Stun Attack [Lv 5] - Hey, you've got stars spinning over your head! You've stopped moving! She's still attacking you! I hope a bit of stunning won't ruin your day...
Potion Pitcher [Lv4] - ...Like the Charge Arrow, I didn't know she carried potions. But apparently she does. I assume them to be Banana potions. This banana lady is resourceful.
Multi-stage Attack [Lv 1] - WhamWHAM. She hits you, but since it's level 1... It never hurts too badly. Charge Arrow and On-target Impact Attack hurt worse. The flaw? You can't tell the skills apart when she's turning you into mush.
Abilities I have yet to figure out.
Defense disregard attack [Lv 1]
Defender [Lv 1]
Expulsion [Lv 1]
The good news: There is no good news. Nothing. Not at all. She teleports. Normally, she's immobile... But you Bloody Branched her! Now she can move! Good luck finding her again! |
| Quote: | 
Osiris
You cracked open your Bloody Branch to find... That you have summoned a pimp. Osiris, bandage-wrapped man surrounded by a dozen snake ladies. Sharp-nailed Isis', actually. This fellow quite enjoys poisoning you and cursing you. I hope your attack speed is maxed out or you can instant cast before he gets to you... and pimps your corpse out. (O_O) Elementally, he's weak against Water, Ghost, Fire, and Holy. Earth and Undead are useless. Poison and Shadow will heal him. His abilities are:
Teleportation [Lv1] - Normally he can only warp around within the bottom of the pyramid. But now you've brought him into the sunlight... He'll want to stretch his legs a bit. As always, best of luck to you with finding him.
Bash [Lv10] - He uses his massive bandaged hands to hit you and possibly stun you! Dangerous!
Stone Curse [Lv10] - Crrrrrunch! Do you know what that sound was? No? Well you can't move to see either. Because that sound was you turning into stone. Now you can't move and you've turned an odd shade of black. Have fun.
Venom Dust [Lv5] - Suddenly you're poisoned and standing on a purple flame! Wait, you're fine now. You've moved to the side. No wait, he used it again! You're poisoned again! But you can just move right off of it! It's like playing "The floor is lava" with a mobile floor. Better stay off of it.
Quagmire [Lv5] - "Hey, is it just me, or did my DEX and AGI points suddenly drop on me?" You're not just imagining things, and the ground actually is glowing green. You might want to hold your breath, that stuff is rather nasty.
Cursing Attack [Lv 5] - You've been cursed; and attacked at the same time! Osiris doesn't waste time with cursing you and THEN attacking you, he just does it at the same time! How lovely!
Poison Attribute Attack [Lv 5] - Poison, in an attack?! This is madness! No, no, not really. But it will hurt more if you're weak against that element.
Dark Breath [Lv 5] - So you start to wonder why Osiris keeps his face wrapped... And then he unwraps his mouth, breathes on you, and you realize why he does. The pain and horror combined will hurt you and leave you with a varying assortment of ailments. Hopefully the stench didn't burn your eyes, though.
Power Up [Lv 5] & Agi Up [Lv 5] - Stronger and faster! He fixed those loose bandages and made them steel! He added rockets to his back so he can just rush right up to you! He even made his crown just a little bit harder so it'll bruise you every time he hits you with it.
Meteor Assault [Lv10] - By unwrapping the bandage on his hand, a meteorlike wave of destruction splashes around Osiris' immediate area to damage and stun, cause darkness, or even external bleeding on anyone close enough. Ouch!
Abilities I have yet to figure out.
Darkness Jupiter [Lv 10]
The good news: 415,400 HP... And the chance to get both his card (full HP/SP regeneration on resurrection, wonderful for Soul Linkers) and his disturbingly cute doll. |
| Quote: | 
RSX-0806
Well no wonder the furnace never worked! There's a little man stuck inside it! And he's taken control of your furnace, turning it into a giant robot of doom! With arms! Oh noes! And worse off, he's not weak against anything! Alternately, he's only immune to ghost attacks, so if you're already dead, don't hit him. This is one majorly tricked out furnace, though. Not only can it create steam, heat, and mass soot, but it can also use:
Agi Up [Lv5] - Okay, so now he's not only a giant furnace-man, but he is a really FAST giant furnace-man. Thankfully, though, you can be faster! How, you ask? Why, with Agi up level 6! Hope you know a priest.
Power Up [Lv5] - So now he's not only an MvP. He's a powered-up MvP! Fan-freaking-tastic! Simple solution - be stronger. How? I don't know, but it sounds like a good plan.
Summon Slave [Lv5] - Yay! He has cronies! He can summon Old Stoves, Noxiouses, and Venemouses. He'll choke you to death with smog, then cook you in his stove! If you're strong enough to take out RSX, these guys wont be a problem. If you aren't, though, might I suggest the old hit-and-run technique?
Break Weapon [Lv10] - So, you thought you were badass with you +10, 4 slotted, quadruple-whatever weapon? Think again! You've been reduced to punching a GIANT METAL CASE! And let me tell you, that doesn't hurt the case. However, it will hurt you. Better get a Golem card, or keep a blacksmith on hand.
Hammerfall [Lv10] - Dear god! He just smashed you over the head with a FREAKING HAMMER! A HAMMER! I'd tell you to get a medic, but guess what? That blow to the head has left you stunned! And now he's beating you, and there's nothing you can do about it! Praise Odin for Ygg leaves!
Teleport [Lv1] - You would think something this massive wouldn't be so hard to find, but if you beat him up enough, he'll run away with his tal between his.. err.. stove door. Go after him!
Sonic Blow [Lv10] - Okay, so he doesn't use katars, and he's certainly not an Assassin... Except that he kills you hella fast like one, yet somehow, this large bubble of ore has mastered Sonic Blow. And guess what? It hurts... more! And it makes you face the wrong way! I hope your flee is amazing.
Earthquake - I'm sure you're starting to see that this is pretty standard. Lets just put it at this. Unless you have over 600k HP, with Ghostring armor, and someone else with you to divide the damage amongst, you're pretty much dead. The end. Finished. Done. Goodbye.
Heal [Lv11] - And now that you're fully, totally, and completely annihilated from his Earthquake, sit back and watch him heal all the damage you worked so hard to inflict. Isn't life swell?
Abilities I have yet to figure out.
Defense Disregard Attack [Lv1]
The Good News: - He has relatively low HP (280,733) and his drops (namely the dark blinder and his card) are definitely fun trinkets to have. And if you can survive his Earthquake, you're in pretty good shape to beat this public health violation. Good luck! |
| Quote: | 
Valkyrie Randgris
Oh my lord. You've gone a summoned a girl with wings. Wait, she's got armor! And a FIERY SPEAR. A holy winged woman that's out to maim and destroy you! You'd better hit her fast and I hope you're not alone. Elementally, she's weak against Shadow and Undead. But is completely immune to Fire, Water, Earth, Wind, Poison, and Ghost attacks. Unsurprisingly, Holy attacks will heal her. Her abilities are:
Teleportation [Lv1] - While not as warp-happy as Lady Tanee, because Randgris much prefers to see your CORPSE before she warps... She still knows it. If you think you can go back and find her floating over where you formerly died... It may not be true. She can, and will warp. Good luck finding her.
Thunder Storm [Lv15] - Fzzzbbtttbtbttt--! Five levels worse than any High Wizard could crush you with! Electrical pain, delivered straight from the tip of the lady's spear.
Brandish Spear [Lv20] - Ever been pierced by a pin? Yeah? Amplify it by about 10,000 and you'll understand. A shockwave of painful destruction twice as powerful as the nearest Lord Knight's. Plus, hers is on FIRE. I hope you're still fireproof. Worse yet, it deals splash damage to others around!
Two-Hand Quicken [Lv20] - Once again twice as fast as a Lord Knight, but that means that it's four times as fast as normal. She's quite determined to put as many holes in your body as possible in the smallest period of time. Say, that means that you have holey armor now!
Lord of Vermillion [Lv20] - High Wizard abilities again! Somehow twice as powerful, this lady can call down flaming justice from the heavens and crush you with it. If you weren't fireproof enough in a Thunder Storm, you're utterly doomed now. Do we need a dust pan and a broom?
Sonic Blow [Lv10] - Like Two-Hand Quicken, this just makes Randgris faster. Heal quick, because she deals blows into you at supersonic speeds; ironically in an identical fashion to Assassins... Except she does it with a burning spear. Be careful not to get stunned!
Holy Attribute Attack [Lv 10] - Hey, is that Undead armor you're wearing? That'll hurt you even more. But armor aside, she uses the power of the heavens to hit you. The power of God compels y-*WHAM*.
Holy Cross [Lv10] - Hey, now Randgris is a Crusader, too! She's like the ultimate Ragnarok heroine... that kills other heroes! Using more holy power, she whacks you with a full-body crushing cross. Worse yet, it can blind you! Bright holy power!
Dispell [Lv5] - With a mighty flap of her wings... All your status enhancements vanish like the flame of a candle in the wind. Be warned, she can even dispell the Berserk of a Lord Knight. Any enhancement is utterly gone.
Power Up [Lv 5] & Agi Up [Lv 5] - As if her powerful abilities weren't enough she can use one of two abilities to make herself stronger and faster! Luckily they don't last forever, but they're enough to make her crush you with more force. The force of HOLY POWER.
Assumptio [Lv5] - The Virgin Mary blesses Valkyrie Randgris with reduced damage! Now when you hit her, your hits won't feel so powerful anymore! You've gone from hitting her with a sword to hitting her with a wet towel! Crap!
Ganbantein [Lv5] - She can cancel your ground-targetted spells! Quagmire, Land Protector, Ice Wall, Fire Wall, anything of that sort that you've put up to keep her from closing in on you... gone! Now she's in front of you ready to impale you again! Run for your life!
Earthquake [Lv 5] - Undeniably painful crushing justice. By literally breaking open the ground that she floats over and you stand on, she shatters every bone in the body of those around and disposes of them in a rather instant and deadly manner. Only a few MVPs have this painful skill, and she uses it well. If you are alone, the full power of over 1,000,000 points of damage will rattle through your body and ultimately cause your demise. If you've teamed up with others, it'll divide the damage up between all of you and... Well, you might not be quite so dead. Regardless, fear this attack. It can be used at will and may end in your untimely demise in the fight against her.
Abilities I have yet to figure out.
Pulse Strike [Lv 5]
The good news: There is only bad news while fighting her.. 3,567,200 HP and a vast array of skills. Additionally, Lord Knights are no longer as useful as they are against others, as Randgris often combos by dispelling the extra berserk HP and then Earthquaking to kill all opposition. Good luck, her dropped items are worth it. |
[More MVPs to be added!]
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| Tue Jun 23, 2009 2:34 am |
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Godfather
Joined: 23 Oct 2007
Posts: 97
Location: Mars
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[Reserved Post]
I'll be using this post here to add in any more MVP overviews that I do. They may not come soon, but they'll most definitly show up.
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| Tue Jun 23, 2009 5:07 am |
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Soup
Joined: 15 Apr 2009
Posts: 7
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| Post subject: Yay |
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That was both humourus, and insightful.
A+
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| Tue Jun 23, 2009 5:45 am |
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threekings
Joined: 11 Dec 2008
Posts: 24
Location: The nothing which exist in truth
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| Post subject: No kidding |
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That's 1 deadly piece of wood. Although I think I've tried using chopsticks made of that branch.
xD
"laughs hysterically then waves"
Later....
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| Thu Jul 02, 2009 5:32 pm |
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Sephiroth7500
Joined: 13 Apr 2010
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| Sat Oct 09, 2010 2:49 pm |
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magbolt123
Joined: 08 Jun 2010
Posts: 812
Location: United States California
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| haha nice post |
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| Sat Oct 09, 2010 4:31 pm |
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Glenfiddich
Joined: 22 Jun 2008
Posts: 1735
Location: Australia, Brisbane
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| Godfather wrote: | [Reserved Post]
I'll be using this post here to add in any more MVP overviews that I do. They may not come soon, but they'll most definitly show up. |
Definitely.
I expected more from you... Lols
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| Sat Oct 09, 2010 10:28 pm |
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puppyrose
Joined: 08 Jan 2013
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| Nice sharing. |
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| Tue Jan 08, 2013 3:34 am |
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