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  Topic: Funny True Story (warning foul language abundant in this)
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XDoggStrafe



Joined: 30 Mar 2009
Posts: 188
Location: Snowy Canada

Post  Post subject: Funny True Story (warning foul language abundant in this) Reply with quote

They are a mob of goblins that everyday, after getting out of grade school go "Hey! We're out! School sucks." "Yeah, sucks!" "Sucks my COCK!" "Cock pirates!" "yeah."
"Hey, what now? We need something to do!" "Yeah, something to do!" "Bored!" "So bored!" "Bored like your COCK!"
"Hey! I know! Let's go play Kawaii RO!" "YEAH! RO!" "I'ma loot everything!" "I'll pwn your ass!" "I'll RAEP your ass!" "Hah ha! Asses..." "They all gonna be my bitches!"
And so, the little goblins went to play Kawaii RO
And so, Roffle was monitoring his little realm, until the hoard of goblins came by. His expression went from contentment to suspicious horror. "Hey, you! Admin fucker. Let us on!"
And the mighty Roffle said "I don't know. You don't seem to be community conscious people."
"We got mad bucks if you give us rares!" "Yeah, I have my mom's credit card!" "I got my money sucking cock..." "Yeah, you LIKE teh cawk!" "Cawk or walk, bitch!"
And the mighty Roffle furrowed his brow...
And the mighty Roffle furrowed his brow, pondering this shady contract of letting the horde of goblins into his realm for the benefits of cash. "Will you TRY to at least behave if I let you into my humble realm?"
"Bitch, I got 400 dolla to drop on yo' ass if you let me in with that sword of ass raping!" "Yeah, what he said!" "Gonna make them squeal like piggies!" "Meteor Swarm that ass, bitch!" "Got 350 from my ho monies, you betta gimme some good bling!"
And so the Mighty Roffle fell to temptation, condeming the denizens of his fair land to the terrors of the horde for monetary gain.
And so the goblins prowled, finding their first victims. A player valiently slaying porings catches a few members of the mob, green and horrid, hairy and naked as they were, aproaching him. "Ah, good day, um, fellows... How fare thee this day?" "Thee? The be a motherfucker, bitch!" "Yeah, yeah!" "We OWN this shit now, fag!"
Turning his attention away from the now dead poring, the adventurer ponded these words as a subtle dread sank into his heart. "I best be moving on to other parts... Far thee well, strange-"
"Thee?! Thee gonna be a DEAD mothafucka!" "Yeah! Let's RAPE him!" "Ooooohhh yeah, that ass is mine, bitch!" "Hee hee! We gonna rape!"
Staggering back, the adventurer was filled with fright. He wasn't even able to let out a scream as the horde descended upon him, biting, sodomizing, ripping, tearing, and pilfering.
In the end, a filth ridden, half eaten, torn up corpse was left. Yet the lust and vices of the goblins were harldy sated.
"That was some goooood raping." "Oh yeah." "Hmmm... hey, nothing's going on now!" "Yeah!" "I'm bored!" "I'm bored too!"
"Oi, guys. Let's find something else to RAPE!" "Yeah, rape rape!"
And so, the goblins began to set out once more, for terrorize, eat, and rape the populace. And thusly one of the goblins let out a mighty shat, and this shat did sprout eyes, arms, and legs, and become another goblin. And so the beggining of Kawaii's end did commence.
In similar manners did other adventurers fall.
On fellow, hiking through the woods, did turn back to see a lone goblin standing behind him. Thinking nothing of it, the poor fool turned and continued on his way. A violent fart startled him, and upon turning around, saw four goblins standing just a ways off. Hesitantly turning back, he continued on at a quick pace. Only did much rustling make him turn once more to find the whole horde behind him.
"What.... what manner of creatures be you?" he said, hand shakily reaching for his sturdy bow.
"Yer a fag!" did one of the creatures bellow. "Yeah, fag, yer a fag!" "Hey, let's rape this fag!" "Ima eat him THEN rape him!" "He's a fag cause he has no rares!" "Yeah, fag, why don't you spend money like we do for rares?" "Shhh! We FOUND all these rares, ryt guiz?" "RAPE RAPE!"
And thusly, did the goblins fall upon this adventurer, biting, sodomizing, looting, and violating him with much diabolic vigor.
And thusly it continued. The Mighty Roffle watched with dismay as his realm crumbled, burned, and became stained with much shat. However, the goblins continued to ply him with cash, ever tempting him to let them have their way with offers to placate his growing greed.
And, after much raping, ravaging, and piliging, did the realm of Mighty Roffle become a heap of stinking oafal. His once great population of noble souls now reduced to so much half-eaten raped corpses. And after the devastation wrecked its terrible havoc until havoc could not be wrecked anymore, the horde, swelled by the excrement of their fellows, did move on to spoil other lands. And thus Roffle was left with his cash and a might pile of shat that was once his lands.
I endeavor thee, rulers of realms, do not let goblins in, even if promised their goblin gold. Your realms and peoples will be raped to ruin.

Now before anyone posts a response, keep in mind this is a story my friend told me of the server he played on, before quitting RO altogether and has no real bearings on anything I've experienced in any ro server.
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Last edited by XDoggStrafe on Wed Nov 18, 2009 10:15 pm; edited 1 time in total
Wed Nov 18, 2009 7:51 am
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dragonbug



Joined: 24 Jul 2009
Posts: 1236
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if i ever..and i mean EVER see any goblins like that in reign im gonna raep their tiny goblin bungholes O.O shesh. you know i can actually see a group of doucheys walking around and talking like that sigh.

lets hope and pray to randgris we never experience these atrocious abominations
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Wed Nov 18, 2009 1:42 pm
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GlitchyVirus



Joined: 20 Jun 2008
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Anyone who does not see the obvious connotations of this story has lost at life.

....and at the game....

Sad
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Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:55 pm
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seraphineveles



Joined: 10 Oct 2008
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OMGWTFBBQ
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Thu Nov 19, 2009 2:50 am
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Zebruh



Joined: 10 Dec 2007
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Post  Post subject: Reply with quote

cool story bro
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Ręp time.
Thu Nov 19, 2009 5:19 am
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XDoggStrafe



Joined: 30 Mar 2009
Posts: 188
Location: Snowy Canada

Post  Post subject: Reply with quote

Zebruh wrote:
cool story bro

Thanks Zeb, but I didn't write it. I merely repeated it here, with some name changes to protect the innocent and such. (*cough*charmed*cough*)
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Thu Nov 19, 2009 9:06 pm
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Zebruh



Joined: 10 Dec 2007
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XDoggStrafe wrote:
Zebruh wrote:
cool story bro

Thanks Zeb, but blah blah blah blah dribble dribble blah blah blah blech blah dribble


Cool story bro
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Ręp time.
Thu Nov 19, 2009 9:10 pm
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XDoggStrafe



Joined: 30 Mar 2009
Posts: 188
Location: Snowy Canada

Post  Post subject: Reply with quote

Zebruh wrote:
XDoggStrafe wrote:
Zebruh wrote:
cool story bro

Thanks Zeb, but blah blah blah blah dribble dribble blah blah blah blech blah dribble


Cool story bro


=.= touche.
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Thu Nov 19, 2009 9:11 pm
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